内容3/4
構成3/4
語彙2/4
文法2/4
★あなたのオリジナル
☆訂正/添削
★I think that some companies have online interviews for people who apply for jobs is a good idea.
☆I believe online interviews are a good idea for job applicants.
⇨文法の間違い("some companies have online interviews <中略> is a good idea"と、関係詞がなくis a good ideaとすると意味不明になります )
文章がまどろっこしいので簡潔明瞭に。
★This is because, online interviews enable them to join interviews wherever they want.
☆Online interviews allow applicants to participate from any location, saving time and effort.
⇨カンマは不要。"wherever they want"という表現は少々雑なのでそこはクリアに。
★They do not cost money to visit companies.
☆Applicants do not need to spend money on travel or accommodation to visit companies in person.
⇨ここの"They"は何を指してるのでしょうか？もし応募者を指しているのなら"They do not cost"という表現は合いません。今一度costの使い方を辞書で調べましょう。
★People who apply for jobs
☆job applicants.
⇨あなたの表現でも間違いではありませんが、スッキリした表現に改めてみました。
★Join interviews
☆attend interviews.
⇨join interviewsという言い方はほとんどしません。
★Has a good effect on cost
☆reduces expenses.
本文に沿った内容にするには"reduces expenses "の方がベター。
★Online interviews for people who apply for jobs
⇨これと似た表現が繰り返されていますね。それは出きるだけ避けましょう。
★It is necessary for companies to have online interviews for individuals who apply for jobs."
☆Online interviews allow applicants to participate from any location.
⇨不要な語句やまどろっこしい表現を外し、簡潔にまとめましょう。
I believe online interviews are a good idea for job applicants. This essay will explain two reasons: convenience and cost. First, online interviews allow applicants to participate from any location, saving time and effort. For instance, they can attend interviews from home, which is especially helpful for those living far from the company. Second, online interviews reduce expenses. Applicants do not need to spend money on travel or accommodation to visit companies in person. This makes the process more accessible for everyone. For these reasons, I think online interviews are beneficial for both companies and job seekers.
